7 Keys to Overcoming Pornography and Sexual Sin.

1. Humility - Why is humility first on the list? Because God hates pride and pride leads to destruction (Proverbs 16:8) but with humility comes wisdom (Proverbs 11:2). God actually opposes the proud (James 4:6) and his grace is available to the humble.

The first key to overcoming sexual sin is acknowledging in humility that Gods ways are right and that we are sinners. This should involve confession of your sin but let me warn you do not confess to  your wife with a plan. Confessing to your wife without having a plan in place, accountability and wise counsel on how confession and disclosure should take place is a recipe for disaster and divorce.

 

2. Repentance - Many men who claim to be Christians are willing to humble themselves and admit they are sinners, fewer are willing to repent. Jesus said we have to get drastic with personal sin, even to the point of cutting off a hand or gouging out an eye (Matthew 5:29,30). Jesus is not literally telling us to maim ourselves. He is pointing out that if you aren’t willing to get as drastic as cutting off your hand (start with the internet maybe?) to avoid continued sinning you haven’t really repented. The second key to overcoming sexual sin is true repentance. Jesus said that he will reject those who claim his name yet continue to practice sin. (Matthew 7:22,23)

 

3. Accountability - Many men are willing to humbly admit their sin and are willing to repent but fail because they are unwilling to submit to the accountability of other men. This sin requires accountability over time. This is a fight for your spiritual life, not to mention your wife and family and it will take 3-5 years of committed knock down drag out fighting against the enemy to retrain and renew your mind. You should be able to see the fruit of your efforts within months but this is a character and integrity issue around faith and trust in God, it takes time to build character and integrity. You will need other men around you to help you fight. Get in a purity group.

 

4. God's word - This is your most valuable weapon yet many men cut corners here. The Bible describes sexual sin as being as dangerous and sharp as a double edged sword (Proverbs 5: 3,4 AMP) but describes the word of God as being sharper than the sharpest double edged sword! (Hebrews 4:12) For a man to change the way he has wired his brain toward sexual sin he needs to wash his brain and spirit with the word of God. This means starting the day with a devotional time and memorizing scripture. I have found that quoting a scripture I am trying to memorize when I am tempted to sin works wonders. If I can I even say it out loud to make sure the devil can hear me!

 

5. Gratitude - Sexual sin is all about wanting what you don’t have and the enemy of your soul will ensure that you can never truly have your fill (Hebrews 12:16). He entices us with fake intimacy and causes us to focus on the exterior body. When we focus on the body and how a person looks we are chasing something shallow that can not last. This will cause us great unhappiness and dissatisfaction . We all age and fade away but true beauty, character, integrity and faith in Christ can not be measured by appearances. We need to train ourselves to be, and express gratitude daily  to God for what he has given us. We are rejecting God when we chase what he has not given us.

 

6. Service - Sexual sin is all about greed (covetousness) and selfishness. The Bible says we reap what we sow (Galatians 6:7) and when we sow selfishness by engaging in sexual sin we become increasingly filled with lust and selfishness. It continues to blind us to the realities of what we are doing and how it affects those around us. A Christian man who is serious about defeating sexual sin must give himself in some unselfish capacity that causes him to take his eyes off himself and contribute the wellbeing of another person or persons. I would suggest your start with serving your wife and family (even when you don’t want to). The Bible says that we are to love our wives as Christ loves the Church (his bride), giving his life for her. If you haven’t died yet, keep serving her.

 

7. Seeking professional help - If you are married  you must get professional assistance in navigating the minefield that comes with confessing your sin to your wife. If you are hesitant, here is a piece of valuable advice. A counselor is cheaper than a divorce. If you confess in the wrong way you may destroy any chance of your marriage surviving. I would suggest you involve a professional at the beginning of this process at the very least. Don’t let pride keep you from doing whatever it takes to keep your marriage intact as you go through this process. Your professional in this instance  can be a Pastor or a counselor but make sure they understand and have dealt with this type of disclosure before.

Fight! Every. Day

Mike

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Our Purpose

The Purity Driven Life ministry exists to provide encouragement to the men, women and families of the christian church who are struggling with sexual sin, no matter the orientation, age or office and to provide individual and organizational resources  and assistance in preparing the church to walk out a Purity Driven Life that honors Christ.

Portland Oregon

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